How do you work through imposter syndrome? I know everyone can feel versions of this discomfort in their life at one time or another. I myself seem to be experiencing it alot lately, especially after some pretty big and exciting news that I recently received, ( I will let you know on the big secret real soon I promise).
Feeling like you do not deserve success or a place in this world, brings a great amount of anxiety for me. I awoke with the sun glowing through my window this morning, so inspired and motivated to finish off a ceramic piece I have been planning and creating for weeks. As I finished it, I stood back feeling proud, until this feeling of dread boiled up in my stomach, a physical response to my thoughts that were asking “Is this enough?”
Ceramics doesn’t come real easy to me, like alot of things in my life, I have had to work really hard to achieve things. As a self taught artist this can make reaching goals a huge challenge. But I fully accept this about myself and in fact, have used this “humaness” as part of my art and creation process. Without this brave process I just don’t think anything would ever get created. It’s intuitive, raw and free. It allows me to play and let go of the “end product”, turning the process into something organic and healing. I love this about what I do.
Unfortunately not everyone else does, or is this just my monkey mind playing tricks on me. I hope to portray the humanity and expression of myself in my art but I just don’t know if it really hits the mark, bringing in this negative thought of self doubt.
I find myself thinking, do people see my art as unfinished and messy? I always feel like I need to tell my story to explain what I have created. Some day it would be really nice for me to feel as if what I do is enough and I could present my art to stand alone without the story.
Imposter syndrome really is a pain. It creeps in just when you think you are doing a great job and surprises you with a quick kick to the guts. If we allow it, it can become debilitating.
Journaling and talking it through is always a good place to go when it comes up, I know it is something I have had to work on in the past and will probably still have to for a long while. But the awareness I have for it now has definitely improved.
These days I find myself greeting it with a loving smile and some reassurance. Yoga taught me along time ago, that sometimes its not about doing the difficult poses, its simply just about rolling out the mat and showing up. And that is exactly what I do every single day, In clay, In my garden, in yoga and in my home. Even when I feel like an imposter!
Carry the water, light the fire!
Thanks for reading.
Pammy.
